Ya Know...

...I'm kind of happy that I stayed home last night in my dorm instead of attending my first college frat party. Like, honestly. I thought about it, but then figured, "Hey, I have the whole year for this...I need to settle down a little more before all of this party scheisse."

My roommate stepped on a big piece of glass while my suite mates were all buzzed and they had to take her to the hospital. Interesting night...

Though, I sort of do regret not going, there's still the fact that there will be undoubtably more parties. *sigh*

But! Two of my other suite mates are Little Monsters. That made me feel a whole lot better about the school year.

Yeah, so...I may get a ride back home over the weekend. It's pretty great because even though I moved up here without knowing anybody, I still manage to have connections. I pretty much have free rides anywhere, I can go to the mall pretty much any time I want to (which I did yesterday...my friend Melissa and I got lost...but I bought a sexy Captain America poster. I get to wake up to that and it's fantastic haha). SPEAKING OF CAPTAIN AMERICA! They have action figures at Target. I want one XD

Well, anyway...I guess that's it for now.

I'm Outta Here!!!...a day early XD

So today, I moved away from home and am now at my new humble abode - San Jose State University. To be precise, 6th floor, Campus Village C suites (which is totally amazing, because I applied for the crappy freshman housing Bricks building, but since the school is so impacted this year I was bumped SUPER HIGH...I have a microwave AND a shower :D). Yeah, so it's quite the adventure. Last night I was feeling kind of bummed after my last hang-out with *hardly* all of my friends together in one place. Haha I actually kind of cried before I fell asleep. Shhhh it's a secret.

BUT THEN YAY I WOKE UP AT 4AM. *shoots self in face*

My mom, my mom's boyfriend (or "significant other" as they call themselves) Jake helped me move all of my stuff, and after I checked in I started un-boxing all of my...boxes, ha.

I need some more posters, my room looks kind of naked with just a cork board, and only two of my surfer posters. Oh yeah, well back to the meat of my original post plot.

I arrived to my check-in on the wrong day. I'm supposed to arrive tomorrow, 9/20. There is absolutely no one in my suite. Just me, three empty rooms, and seven empty beds. I'm all alone. FOREVER ALONE. But I'm not the only one who made this mishap - apparently there's this guy named Dalton somewhere on my floor, and some other girls somewhere. That doesn't make me feel as dumb anymore. It's funny, because my brain had a dyslexic moment when I was reading the move-in dates. But that's to be expected, I just didn't realize that I'd make such a major blunder, even though it didn't hurt me.

Ha, when mom and Jake left I started getting teary-eyed because even though I finally have the full independence I've always wanted, it's very bittersweet. I'm not ashamed to say this but I actually do miss my parents, and I do kind of want my mom back. But! It's something we all have to go through in our lives at some point, might as well be 18 years old for me XD

OH BUT A HAPPY NOTE! My dorm floor is Mario themed. So there are random pictures of clouds, yellow question boxes, and green plumber pipes on the walls everywhere :D I'm just waiting for a dude in a Yoshi costume to pop out around the corner...then I can pull some ninja moves and RUN AWAY SCREAMING. Just kidding! College is great though, and I can't wait for what's to come next.

Epiphany (aka I'm Not Stupid)

So, yesterday I came across a rather stupid epiphany. But, I have a good reason as to why I thought nothing of it until now. Or, how I didn't question how dumb it seemed until I really found out why. In all honesty, I thought it was probably the most normal thing regarding the issue. So here goes.

I was watching The Phantom of the Opera yesterday with a small group of friends (we had a sleepover) and the Phantom sealed a letter with wax with a sweet skull mold. My friend that was sitting to my left simply just said "sealing wax". I for a few seconds I thought nothing of it, until it clicked - sealing wax. Sealing wax. Sealing. Wax.

I look away from the laptop that we were watching, look straight at the wall in a small daze as the serene sounds of the ocean permeate the air, and mumble a little "huh". My other friend, who was sitting at my right asked, "What?"

And so I said, "Sealing wax."

Then a whole conversation occurred that made me feel stupid because I couldn't find the right way to explaining it. And so, here's my explanation, you hoes.

For the longest time I never knew what "sealing wax" was because I always thought it was "ceiling wax". (I'm sure this sounds pretty "wtf" so just roll with me). I never thought twice about it. I honestly thought ceiling wax was for the ceiling, and because it was so farfetched I just went with it. The reason why I thought this was because back when I was little (or shall I say littler) I watched the Disney animated version of Alice in Wonderland. And, no lie, that movie was pretty much on acid. So, when the Walrus and the Carpenter sang the "Of shoes and ships, of sealing wax - cabbages and kings!" WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO THINK??

A bunch of weird-ass irrelevant things and terms and shiznit were compiled into that one song alone: "...and while the sea is boiling hot, and while the pigs have wings...blah blah...cabbages and kings!" How could you expect me to think twice about sealing wax versus ceiling wax?

I honestly just thought it was all part of the song. Apparently not.

[Link to video....if you didn't see how I liked it above]

Deprived...

In all honesty - not being able to sleep sucks.

I've had some bouts of insomnia for the past two weeks or so, and it's one of the worst feelings ever. I'm like a...mentally deficient drone just laying there, listening to my ceiling fan. I don't even know if my eyes are open or closed; the room is dark - when I blink, nothing changes. It's interesting, actually, because I've been more active lately, which results in my body getting more tired, yet I'm still unable to drift off into happy land.

I suppose it's the late-night gaming I have been actively engaged in (damn you Fallout: New Vegas). Perhaps I need to drink less tea, as my mom proposed (which I flatly refused - you do not tell me to stop drinking my tea! I need at least one pick-me-up in a day of lows >.>"). Or, maybe I'm not making enough of...uh...what's it called...?

Something technically scientific. Lemme think a moment...

MELATONIN! That's what it is! Ahhhh I'm awesome.

Yeah, I was listening to the "John Tesh Radio Show" (he's some old dude who has some pretty coolio facts for life) and he said that drinking tart cherry juice helps with melatonin build-up, which helps sleep. And, since I clearly have a disorder - that was sarcasm, guys - I should try it out. Too bad it's not just sittin' there in the local grocery store. I'd have to travel to the Trader Joe's...and the gas prices, even though they lowered by approximately ten cents, are still horrible. Y U SO EXPENSIVE????

Orientation Notes

Dude, so being in the big city makes you realize how 1) lonely you really are in the world, 2) how many people around you smoke pot and party, despite looking absolutely "normal", and 3) how you really have to break out of your shell to make it through the year, and your life.

Honestly - I drove to SJSU by myself to go to my college freshman orientation. As soon as I pulled out of the driveway - at 4:30am - I felt a small tinge of fear tug at my nerves. I was getting scared of the freedom that was being handed to me. Sure, acquiring your driver's license is a "rite of passage", however, I felt that traveling to San Jose without my mother was my true rite of passage. Interestingly enough, eight-or-so days prior to this "event", I had driven all the way to Sonoma State University (approximately 2 hours north of SJSU). But, what made that experience different from this one was that I wasn't alone. I wasn't traveling for the sake of wanderlust. I was traveling because I was on a future mission - this adventure was mandatory in my growth as a person, my life, my major, my freedom from the constraints of a small-town existence.

This trip changed me. Turning 18 years old changed me. I feel like I need to mature - I just don't know how to. How do I shrug off the youth of the life I bare?

Yo, hopefully as I stay at San Jose I'll learn what it is that I'm exactly trying to find. I guess you could say that I'm "trying to find myself" - however, my methods, my morals, have skewed. I don't need to endlessly drive California to reach my goals. Hell, in retrospect, driving farther than my limits would probably screw me up more. All I know is that, during just those two days, that was the loneliest I had felt in a long while.

Saying Goodbye to the Sun

Today I gave myself the liberty of watching the sun set. I didn't plan it, but I was parked at the beach at the time, so I figured it would be a relaxing thing to do after a long trip up north (which will be told later - it was an adventure in its own right). I had my ukulele in the truck, so as I was waiting for the sun to lower down below the horizontal line of the great Pacific Ocean, I polished my "Lucky" skills, and waited. 

It has been a while since I've let myself relax to such an extent. This whole summer I haven't been to the beach once, and even though I didn't go swim or compel myself to actually surf, it was nice to just chill there with no worries. My window's were rolled down, and as I plucked the strings of my uke, I felt the sea breeze flow through my hair, and I inhaled the salty sea mist. Yesterday, I was in San Francisco. And, even though it was basically the same as Morro Bay, the ocean here was different from the bay there. Nothing is the same as home.   

The thing that got me the most from this trivial experience was how everyone that was around me, and even those on the beach stopped whatever they were doing (from riding their bike to playing frisbee) just to watch the sun fall. I never really think that much about the sun (except for "AHHHH IT'S HOT." or "AHHHH Y U SO COLD?"), but I think a lot of us take it for granted. We, as humans, are given so much - albeit, some of us are still so unhappy about things. The world is a fantastic place, and few of us just don't appreciate it.

As I looked around at the locals and tourists alike, us all watching the sunset, I couldn't help but feel that by that one moment, we were all connected somehow. 

The feeling of it was quite beautiful.

Stats are funny...

Yeah so I was talking to one of my good friends about our blogs the other day during our Lady Gaga dance video/fan music video practice (don't ask...I'll probably talk about it sometime when we're done with it - it's too fantastic to keep hidden), and today I picked the conversation back up in my head while I was driving home from watching another friend get a tattoo.

[Personal thought: Wow! I know a lot of interesting people.]

She was telling me (the blog friend, not the tattoo friend) how she tracks her stats and whatnot on her blog. Normally, I do check for her blog updates, mostly because she writes more, and despite me getting angry at some of the things she writes about (unrequited romance, all that shiznit), she does have some interesting things to say, good points and reflections, and random stuff that nobody would understand unless they were there during that situation (I know her in person, so I'm in about 30% give-or-take of her posts). And so in the conversation, I was put on spot because I linked her blog to a Yahoo! Answers question, and she tracked it back to me.

Heh. I suppose it doesn't help that it is Yahoo!, and that I allow it to show my name because they're my email provider.

I'm not gonna lie - I got kind of embarrassed and it felt sort of awkward (like that guilty feeling, even when you technically didn't do anything bad or wrong). And sure, even if my example of the certain blog post didn't really answer the question - I think it did, she doesn't - I didn't do anything wrong in posting it on a public engine. The internet is public anyway you freakin' look at it - which is both awesome and pretty sad. Sadly awesome. Awesomely sad. Yadda yadda.

[Tangent: Every time I see "yadda yadda" I think of that Grease song at the end of the movie, after that big race and they're all at the school carnival, and they all start singing like "Asdkjflsadkgjalsgjlajgag-ada-ada-ding-dong, bang-bang-shadda-sha-dop-da-dop, we'll always be together...wahooooooo YEAH!"


...


...leave me alone.]


[Tangent#2: When I think of "tangent" I think of the color orange.]


PANCAKES.

God, I'm so random.

But the fact that she tracked me makes me laugh a little, just because I used to do that when I was an avid writer on fanfiction.net. I would check who read my story, where they were from, if they had an "appropriate" bio, or if they were just the people who had a profile just for the sake of reviewing a story (that kind of always made me a little frustrated, because I wanted to know more about them...if that doesn't sound weird).

Yeah dude, I just thought that was a funny instance. I have some other post ideas, but I'll let them slide for now.

Oh yeah, happy first of July :DD