THIS WAS A SAVED DRAFT FROM A LONG TIME AGO OMFG

"I wonder that with all of the time you have been gone, do you really know me? Do you know who I am, what I like, my aspirations, dreams, weaknesses, strengths, sadnesses? I know you care - you care because that is all that can take the place of your absence. You have been gone too many years of my life; when will I be able to say goodbye? Better yet, when will I be able to say hello? So many questions. So many damn questions that make me angry at myself for being such a coward.

And really, that’s all I am. A coward afraid of the world. Afraid of dying, afraid of saying hello to those I encounter on a daily basis. Afraid of writing a simple letter, afraid of the future and what will inevitably happen.

I don't like celebrating my birthday anymore. I don't even like staying at home, let alone my hometown. My fears even cause me to resent Christmas - the very day where family should stick together in merriment and love. As I look up at the tree now, I think of years past where life was gilded with happiness, but with a core of disdain. The teen years suck. The adult years are just bland and tasteless (unless you're rich or something)."

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WTF I WROTE THIS SO LONG AGO OMFG.
SO DEPRESSING
DUDE I WONDER WHAT WAS MAKING ME SO DOWN (well we can kind of get an idea but whaaaat)

I'm an amazing writer when I'm depressed/angry. My goodness.