Deprived...

In all honesty - not being able to sleep sucks.

I've had some bouts of insomnia for the past two weeks or so, and it's one of the worst feelings ever. I'm like a...mentally deficient drone just laying there, listening to my ceiling fan. I don't even know if my eyes are open or closed; the room is dark - when I blink, nothing changes. It's interesting, actually, because I've been more active lately, which results in my body getting more tired, yet I'm still unable to drift off into happy land.

I suppose it's the late-night gaming I have been actively engaged in (damn you Fallout: New Vegas). Perhaps I need to drink less tea, as my mom proposed (which I flatly refused - you do not tell me to stop drinking my tea! I need at least one pick-me-up in a day of lows >.>"). Or, maybe I'm not making enough of...uh...what's it called...?

Something technically scientific. Lemme think a moment...

MELATONIN! That's what it is! Ahhhh I'm awesome.

Yeah, I was listening to the "John Tesh Radio Show" (he's some old dude who has some pretty coolio facts for life) and he said that drinking tart cherry juice helps with melatonin build-up, which helps sleep. And, since I clearly have a disorder - that was sarcasm, guys - I should try it out. Too bad it's not just sittin' there in the local grocery store. I'd have to travel to the Trader Joe's...and the gas prices, even though they lowered by approximately ten cents, are still horrible. Y U SO EXPENSIVE????

Orientation Notes

Dude, so being in the big city makes you realize how 1) lonely you really are in the world, 2) how many people around you smoke pot and party, despite looking absolutely "normal", and 3) how you really have to break out of your shell to make it through the year, and your life.

Honestly - I drove to SJSU by myself to go to my college freshman orientation. As soon as I pulled out of the driveway - at 4:30am - I felt a small tinge of fear tug at my nerves. I was getting scared of the freedom that was being handed to me. Sure, acquiring your driver's license is a "rite of passage", however, I felt that traveling to San Jose without my mother was my true rite of passage. Interestingly enough, eight-or-so days prior to this "event", I had driven all the way to Sonoma State University (approximately 2 hours north of SJSU). But, what made that experience different from this one was that I wasn't alone. I wasn't traveling for the sake of wanderlust. I was traveling because I was on a future mission - this adventure was mandatory in my growth as a person, my life, my major, my freedom from the constraints of a small-town existence.

This trip changed me. Turning 18 years old changed me. I feel like I need to mature - I just don't know how to. How do I shrug off the youth of the life I bare?

Yo, hopefully as I stay at San Jose I'll learn what it is that I'm exactly trying to find. I guess you could say that I'm "trying to find myself" - however, my methods, my morals, have skewed. I don't need to endlessly drive California to reach my goals. Hell, in retrospect, driving farther than my limits would probably screw me up more. All I know is that, during just those two days, that was the loneliest I had felt in a long while.

Saying Goodbye to the Sun

Today I gave myself the liberty of watching the sun set. I didn't plan it, but I was parked at the beach at the time, so I figured it would be a relaxing thing to do after a long trip up north (which will be told later - it was an adventure in its own right). I had my ukulele in the truck, so as I was waiting for the sun to lower down below the horizontal line of the great Pacific Ocean, I polished my "Lucky" skills, and waited. 

It has been a while since I've let myself relax to such an extent. This whole summer I haven't been to the beach once, and even though I didn't go swim or compel myself to actually surf, it was nice to just chill there with no worries. My window's were rolled down, and as I plucked the strings of my uke, I felt the sea breeze flow through my hair, and I inhaled the salty sea mist. Yesterday, I was in San Francisco. And, even though it was basically the same as Morro Bay, the ocean here was different from the bay there. Nothing is the same as home.   

The thing that got me the most from this trivial experience was how everyone that was around me, and even those on the beach stopped whatever they were doing (from riding their bike to playing frisbee) just to watch the sun fall. I never really think that much about the sun (except for "AHHHH IT'S HOT." or "AHHHH Y U SO COLD?"), but I think a lot of us take it for granted. We, as humans, are given so much - albeit, some of us are still so unhappy about things. The world is a fantastic place, and few of us just don't appreciate it.

As I looked around at the locals and tourists alike, us all watching the sunset, I couldn't help but feel that by that one moment, we were all connected somehow. 

The feeling of it was quite beautiful.

Stats are funny...

Yeah so I was talking to one of my good friends about our blogs the other day during our Lady Gaga dance video/fan music video practice (don't ask...I'll probably talk about it sometime when we're done with it - it's too fantastic to keep hidden), and today I picked the conversation back up in my head while I was driving home from watching another friend get a tattoo.

[Personal thought: Wow! I know a lot of interesting people.]

She was telling me (the blog friend, not the tattoo friend) how she tracks her stats and whatnot on her blog. Normally, I do check for her blog updates, mostly because she writes more, and despite me getting angry at some of the things she writes about (unrequited romance, all that shiznit), she does have some interesting things to say, good points and reflections, and random stuff that nobody would understand unless they were there during that situation (I know her in person, so I'm in about 30% give-or-take of her posts). And so in the conversation, I was put on spot because I linked her blog to a Yahoo! Answers question, and she tracked it back to me.

Heh. I suppose it doesn't help that it is Yahoo!, and that I allow it to show my name because they're my email provider.

I'm not gonna lie - I got kind of embarrassed and it felt sort of awkward (like that guilty feeling, even when you technically didn't do anything bad or wrong). And sure, even if my example of the certain blog post didn't really answer the question - I think it did, she doesn't - I didn't do anything wrong in posting it on a public engine. The internet is public anyway you freakin' look at it - which is both awesome and pretty sad. Sadly awesome. Awesomely sad. Yadda yadda.

[Tangent: Every time I see "yadda yadda" I think of that Grease song at the end of the movie, after that big race and they're all at the school carnival, and they all start singing like "Asdkjflsadkgjalsgjlajgag-ada-ada-ding-dong, bang-bang-shadda-sha-dop-da-dop, we'll always be together...wahooooooo YEAH!"


...


...leave me alone.]


[Tangent#2: When I think of "tangent" I think of the color orange.]


PANCAKES.

God, I'm so random.

But the fact that she tracked me makes me laugh a little, just because I used to do that when I was an avid writer on fanfiction.net. I would check who read my story, where they were from, if they had an "appropriate" bio, or if they were just the people who had a profile just for the sake of reviewing a story (that kind of always made me a little frustrated, because I wanted to know more about them...if that doesn't sound weird).

Yeah dude, I just thought that was a funny instance. I have some other post ideas, but I'll let them slide for now.

Oh yeah, happy first of July :DD

ECCE! Thou See-eth a Twilit (intentional) Fanfic?!

Yeah so I was looking through some old files on my flash drive, and found this fanfic about Edward/Bella that I had written about four years ago. And I dare say, it's not that bad...kind of cliché, pretty sappy...a song-fic, and typo-ridden, but it had some spunk. Moxy. Eh...I have a word for it but I can't place it...POTENTIAL! That's what it was. Yeah so some friends wanted to read it, and I really don't think it's good enough to post on Fanfiction.net (where all of my other writing is), so imma be a writer-whore and post it here.

...where all but three-or-so people will read it. I couldn't bear the embarrassment of 1000+ people reading it, and thankfully, I don't have that many viewers on here. Yeeeeeee!

By the way, there are typos in the story, but if you're smart (and I'm sure you all are to some extent) you'll decipher it. I don't feel like editing the story, because if I do, I'll end up rewriting it, and then I'd have to post it on FF.net, and then I'd be labeled a loser by my peers. How embarrassing.

"Breathless" - and Edward/Bella song-fic

---------------


She stared up at the bland ceiling and sighed one of the biggest sighs of the day. Bella found the austereness of her room exceptionably boring and lonely today—Charlie was at work “keeping the peace”, and today was one of the few choice lonely days that Edward was away from her to quench his thirsts on mountain lions. She inhaled a deep breath for the billionth time on that Saturday. Bella inadvertently turned her head to look out of the window to see if the forecast was anything new from earlier that morning, and undoubtably, it was still pouring the same buckets of water—much like every other day there in her newly welcomed hometown.


Good ole Forks...  

She didn’t remember how long she had been laying there on the bed; to tell the truth, Bella didn’t really give a care on how long. Any day without Edward near her was always too long for her to handle. She sighed again.

Bella didn’t do much after she had woken up and found that he wasn’t laying next to her like he always did. She had then gotten up to do her morning rituals with a sulk: wash her face, brush her hair, brush her teeth, eat her everyday cold cereal, etc...

She turned her head back to gaze at the ceiling. Earlier, she had tried to do her weekend homework to pass up the time that mocked her, but a good hefty pile of highschool curriculum only gets a person so far until their brain starts to shrivel up. Her thoughts were never on the homework to begin with anyway. Then Bella tried reading—which worked as much as the homework. To her state of mind, the pages were just a blank white, like the white pigment of his cold pale skin. So, she skipped the reading. TV? Not one single bit—that option failed horribly to Bella’s disdain. Sports were obviously not her thing, so ESPN was out in one click. Animal Planet annoyed her greatly since they were airing a two-and-a-half hour special series on the vampire bat and its interesting eating habits and habitats. Click. The History Channel had irritated her even more. Count Dracula and a tour of his magnificent castle was not something she really wanted to see at the moment. Every channel on that television in her and Charlie’s livingroom, and basically everything that she looked at and thought about, reminded her of Edward Cullen.

Besides, Dracula’s castle can’t top Edward’s house anyway, even if he had a shiny silver Volvo in his driveway. 

Desperately, she even turned on the computer to, after checking her empty inbox for any sign of Renée, surf the sluggish web. That came out to no avail whatsoever. She had cleaned out her history on her internet browser and saw the link that she had looked up about vampires so long ago, which made her quickly turn the old modem off with a scowl. Afterwards, she had looked at the clock to see what time it was and how much time she had deliberately tried to kill—it had only been thirty-two and one half minutes of “chronologic killage”. Her day was nothing but vampires, vampires, vampires, but the real vampire wasn’t even there to be with her. So, she ended up deciding on just laying on her bed and staring at the ceiling.

And so there she was. Laying on her quilt and her head sunk into the cotton of the pillow she slept on every night. Bella felt restless and wanted to do something, anything to take her mind off Edward. Take her truck and drive out of town and back, go scrape her knees climbing rocks or something conspicuously stupid like that. But, Edward had told her the day before to not do anything that will get her in trouble and/or hurt. There was extra emphasis as he told her since he had actually said: “trouble and slash or hurt”. Trouble was tied on her like a leash, so she had decided to just stay inside for the day—it was raining of course. She sighed once again.

Like always, anyway...  

Bella underestimated her decision greatly, though. It was extremely boring waiting for him to come back, and now she was paying for it. She would rather go through the lecture Edward would of gave her for doing something somewhat recreational (yet irrational) then wasting a day inside an empty stuffy house with no one to talk to but the ceiling she was apparently having a date with. To discourse her thoughts she pondered on Edward’s expression if she was to tell him that she cheated on him (without telling him that it was with the ceiling) whenever he left her to replenish on his “energy drinks”. She raised an eyebrow with mock humor at how idiotic that sounded in her head, yet snickered. No pun intended. [I re-read this, and I have no freaking clue what the pun was. Please, anybody, enlighten me and my thoughts of freshman's past...]

Well I could call Jessica or something...wait, no, she said she had to go to Port Angeles...I should of told her I could of came with her. But then she would just want to talk about...things that I don’t want to talk about...Angela...?

Then, Bella lazily spotted the CD player she had on her desk. That highly mundane instant glance sparked her interest and she got up with a new energized spirit within her clumsy stride. Pushing the eject button, the last CD she had listened to, the one that Phil had given her, protruded out of the disk opening. She had listened to that CD over eight times now, and the screamo was starting to get repetitive. That quick thought of Phil gave Bella a quick thought of Renée, and those two quick thoughts sent a psychological reminiscence domino effect to an old box under Bella’s bed that she had failed to open when she had gotten to Forks. 

She raised an eyebrow. “Hmm...” 

Placing the CD Phil had given her upside-down on her desk, Bella walked back to her bed and kneeled down to rummage under it. Finding what she was looking for behind her duffle bag—the one that held the pepper spray—Bella slid the box out. A thick blanket of dark gray dust was covered over the top exterior of the cardboard box. Indiscretion within her actions, she swiped the dust off with a hand, and after about six whole minutes of choking, sneezing, and rubbing her eyes of dirt, skin, and grime particles, she finally got the box open. But before uncovering what was inside, she jumped up and opened her window for fresh air—then she got back to her current time-killer obsession. 

About twenty or so of Bella’s old CDs were in it. Some of them she hadn’t even seen in around seven years—she was appalled by the variety. When she was younger it seemed that she had listened to just about every genre in music. Rock, pop, alternative, hip-hop, classical orchestra...and even some country.

She shuddered. 

...Country...

Her hands and eyes scanned through the box, intrigued by the assortments of her young taste in music.

Oh, I actually had this CD? Wow...I hadn’t heard this song in a while—No way! I’ve been trying to find this in like forever!

One CD at the moment however caught her eye instantly as it laid face down in the box. She picked it up and looked at the cover. Three girls and a guy were on it and she read the band and album name—The Corrs: In Blue. Curious, she took the compact disk out of the hard plastic cover and pushed it into the player. Sitting down on her computer chair, the first track started to play, and memories of her childhood were coming back to her. After about three minutes the years-old song finished and the second track started up. Bella’s heart began to beat fast as the music started humming through the CD player—she remembered that song—she had absolutely, positively, loved that song.

The main singer’s voice rang with the first verses of the melodic lyrics and Bella smiled. She remembered the title. Breathless. The chorus came up and Bella started to tap her fingers with the rhythm of the music on her knee. Her head started to slightly bob back and forth as she got the beat down. The sounds of her foot tapping the floor echoed the once extremely silent room.

And before she knew it, the song had ended and track three started to begin. Disappointed that her journey through the vicarious beat was suddenly gone, she selfishly reached over to push the “back” button. The song started up again, and Bella put it on repeat. She figured that it might kill the old CD, but she could just go to town and buy a new one—she didn’t want to pass up the moment. She turned the player up with a big smile.

Getting up, Bella walked back over to her bed with new pep to her step. Happily plopping down, she sat cross-legged on her old quilt. She seeped in the lyrics like a dry sponge in water. And one word after another, her mind drifted off, and she started reminiscing about her childhood.

Go on, go on

Leave me breathless...

Come on...

Come on...

She remembered how catchy the sound was when it first came out, and how lucky she felt when Reneé had bought the CD for her. Bella would listen to this song over and over and over again in her car as Renée drove...

The daylight’s fading slowly

But time with you is standing still

I’m waiting for you only

The slightest touch and I feel weak

She throughly remembered the music video for this song, so rightly called Breathless. The only reason why was because the lead singer looked like one of Bella’s old best friends’ moms. She wondered how they were doing at that very moment...how the family was...if she still had their phone number after all of the years...

I cannot lie, from you I cannot hide

And I’m losing the will to try

Can’t hide it, can’t fight it

So go on, go on

Friends she had...friends she had made. All of the memories came rushing to Bella’s mind...washing over her and drowning her with the warmth of memory...

Come on leave me breathless

Tempt me, tease me

Till I can’t deny this 

Love and feeling

Her new classes, new teachers. Math, English, and the evil Physical Education class that Bella thought she would never have to deal with again...

Make me long for your kiss

Go on, go on

Yeah... 

Come on

Science...her new classmates...her new lab partner...

Yeah...

Edward...

And if there’s no tomorrow,

and all we have is here and now

I’m happy just to have you,

You’re all the love I need some how

He was all of the love she needed. She was happy to have him, yet “happy” didn’t define any of her feelings. It couldn’t define her feelings—glad, ecstatic, overjoyed. All of the synonyms of “happy” mixed in one. And even if there wasn’t a tomorrow for her, with him, all time stopped. His love almost killed her, in a literal sense. She had to remember that breath was vital, yet he always left her breathless. Every time she looked at him, kissed him. And every time he kissed her, holding his control with an effort straining his whole being not to bite her. The soft feathery coldness of his lips on her neck...left her breathless. Edward probably wouldn’t like the way she was portraying that song about him. He didn’t want her to not have another tomorrow, to not be forever seventeen like him...

It’s like a dream

Although I’m not asleep

And I never want to wake up,

don’t lose it, don’t leave it...

He was constantly in her dreams. Even when she was awake he still felt like a dream. His ice-cold touch dulled her senses almost every time he brushed her skin, and held her in his arms. Even the slightest touch left her on ends, left her the weakest that she had ever been in her life.  Bella loved it, she never wanted to wake from it. She never wanted him to leave her...

So go on, go on

Come on...

Leave me breathless,

tempt me, tease me

Till I can’t deny this

Love and feeling

Make me long for your kiss

Go on, go on

Breathless...tempting her with his lips, teasing her with the innocent brush with his cold finger tips. Always breathless... He always left her wanting, longing desperately for more. It was an addiction, his love, his touch, his voice. Bella couldn’t deny it. It was too hard not to. She needed him so much some times; it was so hard. She needed him like lungs needed air. But she was breathless.

Yeah...

Come on, come on

I’m not gonna lie,

from you I cannot hide

And I’ve lost my will to try

Can’t hide it, can’t fight it

It was true. She couldn’t hide from him. If she wanted to she couldn’t. Bella probably lost that last shred of will the first time she had seen him. His gorgeous face, his unruly, glossy sleek bronze hair. His piercing eyes, and pale white skin. The mysterious beauty that wouldn’t leave her thoughts. Why would she want to fight and hide from it anyway?

A cold gust of freezing cold wind blew through Bella’s room; she was laying back down on her bed. She turned her head towards the window and sensed that her trance from the song was hindered, and saw that it was already black outside. Certainly, she had killed some time.

So go on, go on

Come on, leave me breathless

Tempt me, tease me

Till I can’t deny this

Bella smiled, and her lips started to move with the words, and her voice gradually started to get louder. Her brown eyes slowly closed.

“Love and feeling 

Make me long for your kiss

Go on, go on

Come on...

Leave me breathless

Go on, go on,

Come on... 

Leave me breathless...

Go on, go on..."

The song finally stopped, but began to start over. Sighing but with a smile, she slowly got up to turn off the CD player. She would have to make dinner for her and Charlie, and she didn’t want to ruin the CD—she would want to use it again the next time Edward left to go hunting. She already planned the date.

The room was now silent except for the soft sound of the rain, and Bella looked over at her bed. An indent of her body was imprinted in the quilt, and she rose an inquisitive eyebrow. She must have listened to that song for at least three hours over and over, especially since the print of her body was at least two inches deep. And again, she sighed.

“You’re a good singer, Bella.”

She yelped in surprise. The silky soft velvet sound that emitted from her window shocked her, and her nerves jumped—she was paralyzed. The little hairs on her neck rose up as a chuckle then echoed from the room, and her heart skipped at least an unhealthy three beats. She would have gulped if there was anything to gulp.

“Bella, breathe.” She heard the smile on his lips ripple his magnificent voice.

Oh yeah...I can gulp air... [WTF really? "Gulp" air? I must have been on crack. Or OD-ed on tea (that's most probable)]

She gulped in the much needed oxygen and turned around. He wore the same breath taking smile, his eyes a warm brow color, and not the dark black she had last seen him with. Edward was sitting on her windowsill, and from the somewhat smug look on his face he had been watching her for a long time, listening to her sing. Before she knew it he was up and walking to her, and she held her breath again. When he finally wrapped her arms around her was when Bella forcefully breathed in his heavenly scent. He was a musky scent due to the hunt, and she figured that he made his way straight here when he got back, yet he smelt like the same delicious fragrance as always. That was when she noticed his drenched body get her clothes wet in his embrace, and the cold drop of water that hit her face after it ran down his nose.

Bella quickly opened her eyes unknowing that she had them closed. “D-Do you want a towel? You’re soaking wet, you might catch a cold!”

Without thinking, she ran out of her room and into her bathroom. Edward just stood there, sighed, and rolled his eyes, yet not completely exasperated at her heedless actions. Bella came back running in with a dark purple towel in her hands and threw it at him; it would of almost hit him in the face if not for his excellent catlike reflexes. But Bella, being Bella of course, tripped with another yelp over her own feet after the towel left her fingertips. She braced herself for the contact of her hitting the cold floor, but Edward caught her with his speed, and frowned at her forgetfulness as he placed her softly back on her feet.

“Bella,” he said sternly shaking his head, “Vampire, remember?”

She sheepishly smiled while her cheeks turned a warm crimson. “Oh...uhm...yeah...”

She then noticed the way he was holding her—arms wrapped tightly around her like she would disappear—and as on her own reflexes, held her breath.

“Breathe,” Edward commanded, but with his crooked smile painted on his lips once more. Despite the coldness of his wet clothes and skin, she was content, and thankful that he was back with her again. Really thankful. “I missed you.”

She smiled and laughed a little, knowing that what he said was a huge understatement, and that he had missed her nearly as much as she missed him. “Me too. In fact, so much that I was breathless.”

Edward chuckled and Bella felt the vibrations from his throat. Her heart skipped a beat. “When are you not?”

Even when the daylight would fade into the dark twilight, all time would stay the same, stay still—with him.

---------------

Cast ye stones upon my flesh, for tis story of vampires was ne'er the best! Ha...medieval rap. Yo yo yo, dawg, I'm now in the Facebook rap game. Shootin' out mah rhymes will get me on the road to fame.

Yeah, so this story (and whole post, I suppose) is embarrassing, and I'm putting my self-esteem at ground-level just to post this. But it had potential, yeah? And if you listen to the song "Breathless" by The Corrs, then you'd agree that it's a good Edward/Bella song. Like honestly...he always got her breathless in the books, right? I'm not going to re-read them...I'm not that desperate in boredom. 

Please review, would be greatly appreciated! (Saying that is mandatory if it's fanfiction :P) I don't care for the typos just cuz I already know that they're there. So yeah. Imma go back to watching NANA, because it's more about my life than I'd care to admit.


EDIT**


Here's a link to the song. I just looked it up and OMFG it's so...sexual. This came out in the early 2000s, and WTF. I only remember seeing parts of this on TV. Ha. Back when MTV was music, and not "reality".


The Corrs - Breathless

[My childhood is skewed now, thanks to the music video.]

[Every time I see "Edward" I think "Jedward"...and then I get "Lipstick" stuck in my head. Frackalackin'.]

Lucky I'm In Love...

...with my...

UKE.

Not to be confused with freako yaoi terms, you sickos. [Uke = ukelele/ukulele (apparently, either way you spell it, it's still right.)]

So my summer vacation has been alright so far - pretty much just been playing the Playstation 2, playing ukulele, hanging out with friends, or reading. I think I mentioned some of that in my last post. Oh yeah, speaking of reading...

I RECOMMEND READING THE LOVELY BONES. I flew past it in a few hours (technically it was days, but that's cuz I took like a two-week reading hiatus). It's a fantastic novel, and makes you think a lot about when you die, how you'll die, when and how your friends will die, and if you'll see your pets in heaven. I like the concepts...and the writing is fantastic. Very suspenseful. I'm kinda weird, because when I'm in suspense (whether it be a show or book or movie) I'll pause, freak out, think deeply, then continue. I dunno...you'd have to watch me. I'm pretty funny when I'm alone. Anyway, I cried about five times: two times within the first fifty pages, and three times within the last hundred.

I really do forget how fun reading is sometimes. It's great because when I read, I get the urge to write. I should read some more, haha.

---------------

In correspondance to the title of this post, I can play "Lucky" by Jason Mraz ft Colbie Caillat on the ukulele. It's kinda cute, since I love that song more so than I should, just because it's so inexplicably sweet. And I'm extremely sappy-happy (my emotional version of the term "trigger-happy"). It just sounds nice.

Hurr hurr.

I'm in the process of either learning "Somewhere Over The Rainbow", "Hair", or "Teenage Dream". I'd like to learn the latter, but I looked up the chords for it; you only use Dmaj7 and C, but it's weird...I need to figure out the strum pattern but I'm a lazy mofo. I'd really like to do some Lady Gaga covers, just cuz I'm an obsessive freak like that. "Hair" is basically my theme song, so that is definitely my first choice. I can't read tabs, and I can't find any chords online for the song, so I'll have to study up on some YouTube videos, or just make them up myself. Which shouldn't be that hard, right? It's just a matter of placing which sound where, and all that jazz. By playing the ukulele I figured out that I'm more musically apt than I had initially anticipated. I have never played an instrument in my life, except for the recorder...but that's a mandatory thing that we all have to play in elementary school. Most of you all should know, right? Ha...

Oh wait, I just remembered that I used to play the drums too. *yawn* I'm tired...and it's like 1 in the morning. It's not as late as it could be, but with how active I've been lately with roaming around town in the summer breeze, or just chilling outside washing my truck, life gets physically tiring, ya know?

---------------

So I saw The Green Lantern the other day. It was horrible. Don't go see it, unless you're a diehard fan. I only know parts of the actual story, and I was just sitting there laughing with my friends John and Sierra. We're all like "Ryan Reynolds, just gtfo!" The movie was too serious to have any funny remarks...it was just fail. Though, Sinestro, or however the hell you spell it (I'm too lazy to Google it) looked like a red-faced version of Hitler. Kind of acted like him, too.

YEAH OK I'M DONE AND TIRED. I'll post my Twilight fanfic in my next post. You'll all have a great time with that one.

High School Grad with No Life

Yeah so I graduated on June 16th. Class of 2011, baby!...Baby...baby...ohhhhh. Oh, look, my picture is righttttttt tttttthere -------------------------------------------->

Ew, enough of that.

Yeah so since I've graduated, I've realized how I don't really have a life. Like, honestly. I got back from Grad Night as Six Flags Magic Mountain and have slept about 70% of the last two to three days each. And 30% of me actually awake has been 1) playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas 2) at goodbye parties for the exchange kids 3) texting.

I started Kingdom Hearts over again, and it brought back some old memories. I was actually afraid of the beginning because of the angelic music when you picked which weapon-thingy you wanted (literally, angelic music scares me). It's kind of funny, because when you're at the beginning at the Destiny Islands place, you get to either fight Wakka, Selphie, Riku, or Tidus to gain experience points. I lost to Tidus the first time (because I wasn't used to the controls...gimme a break it's been like five years) and it pissed me off - I found myself yelling out loud, "TIDUS, YOUR FATHER HATES YOU, SO GTFO!!!"

Yeah, I know I'm sad.

However, it was a nice blast from the past; I didn't realize that the game was still in the "Squaresoft" years. Now it's Square Enix, and I'm just like dayum! I'm old!!

I also started Devil May Cry from the beginning, and I forgot how that game kind of scared me when I was a kid, too. Like...demonic puppets are scary, dammit! I started getting angry at it because I died, so I'm like EFF YOU I'M LEAVING.

I'm going to echo this: yeah, I know I'm sad.

I think I'm going to start some video game fanart. I really want to draw Dante from DMC (mostly because I think he's sexy). I also just want to play around with some different styles. I'm really...hm, how would I put this...cartoony? I dunno, I certainly have a style, but I'd just like to broaden my horizons a bit. I had an idea for an epic post, but I don't feel like writing epic today/tonight. I'd rather be supa informal, as such. Like I said, I have no life.

I kinda wish I had a drawing tablet, just so I can experiment with different modes of coloring, and adding depth and all that. Most of my friends have one...ha well one of them let me borrow hers, and I got to mess around with it a little, but it never stuck (sucks for me, cuz my inspiration seems to have returned somewhat). I guess I'll stick to my colored pencils, or just plain black pen. Cross-hatching does wonders - I sure do know how to manipulate those lines hurr hurr.

Oh so I found a glitch in GTA: SA, and it's kinda cool. There's this building that looks like it's doors won't open, but you can fall in and enter the domain we all like to call "Blue Hell". If I travel along it far enough with the jetpack cheat, I can enter the "Restricted Area/Area 69" and see this gnarly testing/experiment site (it's a parallel of Area 51).

I'd like to buy some old horror PS2 games. I like things that are supposed to freak people out, mostly because I don't get freaked out that often. So, I intentionally try to find things that scare me. Which normally don't, but you get the picture. I want to get Clock Tower 3, some Silent Hill games, Manhunt (which I've played before...and it's scary), ObsCure (which, is supposedly really effing scary AND has co-op :DD), basically all the games that are rated M.

With the summer, my suppressed gamer awakens from her dormancy. I'm such a loser, haha.

Yeah, I know I'm sad.